{"id":105,"date":"2010-07-16T11:57:00","date_gmt":"2010-07-16T03:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fadzleen.com\/test\/?p=105"},"modified":"2010-07-16T11:57:00","modified_gmt":"2010-07-16T03:57:00","slug":"learning-to-walk-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fadzleen.com\/?p=105","title":{"rendered":"Learning to walk again…"},"content":{"rendered":"
6 hours after I published my last blog post, something catastrophic happened. I fell down and I heard this sharp thudding sound and I couldn’t move a single inch of my left leg. I was rushed to the ER and based on the xrays, the doctor relayed the devastating news that I broke my patela and I need to go for an operation. I totally whacked my left knee and the doctor had to bolt in an iron rod and screws to keep the bones intact. <\/p>\n

Ironically, I didn’t cry when the sharp pain was clinging to my knee when it happened. I guess I was too shocked to feel the pain, trying to comprehend what had happened to me. I was even awake when the doctor did the operation, I was composed when it happened. I could even guide my student, Shafiq with his PowerPoint presentation on my 2nd day at the hospital. (Btw, congrats for being one of the JSLC members!) However, I finally broke down in tears on the 4th night stay at the hospital – four hours after the operation. It was the most excruciating pain ever. I felt so helpless and I kept asking for painkillers, trying to numb the pain. My arms are now blue-black due to the massive injections. In a nutshell, I was a wreck.<\/p>\n

Gradually, I started to reflect on my adversity and try to see how I was emotionally and physically affected by it. Then I started to open my eyes and my mind to my surroundings. I started to talk to other patients, the nurses, the doctors and from there, I was subconciously healed. I realised I was not alone, people were trying to help me and there were other patients who were experiencing ever graver situations that I was. I realised that I was too sucked into the vortex of my own melancholy that I forgot to see the flipside of this turbulous phase.<\/p>\n

Trying to walk again would take at least 4 months, said the doctor. Even right now, I am struggling with my steps, even the simplest task of peeing is taking a toll on my life. I still need to go through series of physiotheraphy and trips to see the othopedict specialist from time to time. I still can’t bend my left knee but I am still alive. Alhamdulillah.<\/p><\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
It is such a humbling moment, I know it might take me longer than usual to walk or to get up to my feet but I am determined to do it, even if I have to fumble along the process. I know God will only test those who could endure such test, it might take me some time to realise the blessing behind this hardship but I am doing my best to pick my self together. I will go through this, stronger than before. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
To all my parents, colleagues, friends and students, thank you for being there during this turbulous phase. <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

6 hours after I published my last blog post, something catastrophic happened. I fell down and I heard this sharp thudding sound and I couldn’t move a single inch of my left leg. I was rushed to the ER and based on the xrays, the doctor relayed the devastating news that I broke my patela […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reflection"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p50s1P-1H","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fadzleen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fadzleen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fadzleen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fadzleen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fadzleen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=105"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fadzleen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fadzleen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fadzleen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fadzleen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}